The very best good

I visited my doctor last week. After my exam we talked. She asked how I am doing. She knows my world has turned dark.

I shared with her my coping mechanisms. Calm, a motivational site on Instagram, has been most helpful. A quick burst of cheer and positivity, it also offers thinking messages. I’m rereading The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz, an inspirational resource. He discusses a valuable “lesson” about seeking approval. Ruiz pointedly says, “Nothing other people do is because of you. It’s because of themselves” (and I believe his adage “Don’t take anything personally” should go right up there with Thou shalt not kill. Is that an oxymoron? You’ll have to read the book).

My doctor said it sounds like I am staying positive. I told her that while this has been most difficult, I know that one day, the sun will shine again; it may be a long while, but it will shine. It doesn’t mean I am happy my husband has cancer. It means that I am looking for the good, and if there is something good, I will find it.

So when I saw this little meme the other day, I knew it was meant for me. Is my husband’s cancer diagnosis what I wanted? Is it what I needed? Oh, HELL no, but it may be what someone else needs. 

meme_not what i wanted_maybe what i neededMaybe someone out there needs to hear my words. Maybe someone can learn from our experience. If you’re familiar with my previous posts, you may remember that Bruce did not have typical symptoms of glioblastoma. If I had missed the odd behaviors and had not acted, he would not be here right now. This is a powerful message.

Is anyone witnessing odd behavior, confusion, and forgetfulness in a loved one? Have these all hit at once? Are there body weaknesses? Are they in a fog? Are they sleeping a lot? Are there financial mistakes? Do they say they are fine when you ask? HAS YOUR DOCTOR TAKEN YOU SERIOUSLY?

Would I have shared this message had it not happened to Bruce? That isn’t how life works. It often takes tragic events–our own or those that happened to someone we love–to find our voice and act. The brutal realness of life may propel us to come forward. Isn’t this often what we see? Mothers of children victim to gun violence become public advocates for gun safety, for example. Cancer isn’t what I wanted, but maybe sharing and speaking my truth fulfills needs, for me and through me.

This is the something good, the very best good, I can see right now.

The “best” brings into focus Ruiz’s lesson mentioned above. Speaking my truth is about me, even though it may be difficult to read what I write about cancer. It may be upsetting to learn how it has affected our family and countless others. Cancer is ugly and my words may be raw.

These aren’t good reasons to be silent. That helps no one.

meme_impact vs approval

Got it. Thanks, Tim.

Blessings and thanks for reading. ❤

  11 comments for “The very best good

  1. February 16, 2019 at 8:06 pm

    sounds difficult.
    many find some relief, as follows:
    hand on abdomen
    deep, belly breathing
    calm attention to
    rising, falling
    as you breathe.
    gently bringing mind
    back to the miracle
    of each breath 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    • February 19, 2019 at 11:12 am

      Thank you!!! I’m going to print this and put it next to my computer. I have found that meditation helps, and right now, why not? 🙂 Have a great day! Thanks for stopping by.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. February 15, 2019 at 5:48 pm

    It was a book I have not been able to part with. I’ll leave it for my daughter with others that lift me. It’s excellent and has helped me on my journey as well. You saw the changes and that bought you a little time you would not have had. That’s how I feel. I have a little more time to get things ready. It’s part of the gift.

    Liked by 1 person

    • February 19, 2019 at 11:16 am

      Yes, exactly. I had the book on my nightstand but had forgotten. When a friend asked me if I’ve read it, I decided to take another look. I am so glad I did. It is fabulous, and full of wisdom that makes so much sense. Have a great day, Marlene. ❤

      Liked by 1 person

  3. February 15, 2019 at 12:58 pm

    I am glad that your doctor knows you. That is a great help at this time.

    Liked by 1 person

    • February 19, 2019 at 11:13 am

      It really is, and even though I’m in a very different mind frame than usual, she is aware and for that, I am grateful.

      Liked by 1 person

  4. February 15, 2019 at 12:36 pm

    I honestly believe that your sharing what you are going through will help other people. Sometimes, even the worst situations, we can find something good.

    Liked by 1 person

    • February 16, 2019 at 12:14 pm

      Exactly! With some situations, it can be extremely difficult to find the good, but I’m optimistic enough to keep trying. Have a great weekend!

      Liked by 1 person

  5. Lynne Olson
    February 14, 2019 at 2:23 pm

    Love the phrase by Don Miguel Ruiz, I will be using that in my signature for a while.

    Liked by 1 person

    • February 14, 2019 at 2:41 pm

      Me, too! It makes so much sense. Have you read the book? I think you’d like this one.


    • February 14, 2019 at 2:43 pm

      I should point out, too, that a good friend recently reminded me of this book, and silly me, it was on my nightstand. I’m rereading it now, and am thankful for her suggestion.


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