The Retirement Me

In two days I walk away from the working world, I hope for the last time. It’s goodbye Working Me and hello spotless homemaker Retirement Me.

My knickers are in a knot. My limbs are tingling, the fight-or-flight alarm is coursing through my veins. I can’t sit still or focus. I want to run (but then I remembered that is one of three things I don’t do in public. Wearing a swim suit and bowling are the other two).

Was retirement the right decision? Am I making a mistake? What if this happens? Or that? Does anyone know the cost of a portable, intravenous sedation unit on wheels?

I am giddy AND anxious. I feel nauseous. I am out of sorts. I think my family is avoiding me. I hear them but haven’t actually seen them, for several days, come to think of it…

“OK, Karen,” I say to myself, “get a hold of yourself!” Maybe someone should slap me.

It’s time to yodel for deep, cleansing breaths. And, again. That’s better.

IMG_20160221_094710177
My shadow

“Get a grip, already!” I say, trying not to pass out. My shadow will ease this transition.

It was then I recalled the Martha in me, the fleeting but creative one. She made these tiny quilts, but she’s been in seclusion. It’s time to set her free. I’d better get organized first.

I made a Retirement list:

  1. Buy more fabric
  2. Bake bread(s)
  3. Hike with the hubby
  4. Walk daily
  5. Buy more fabric
  6. Make a dent in my book pile
  7. Plan a slumber party with mom and Cheryl Ann
  8. Stock the red wine shelf
  9. Buy more fabric*
  10. Stock the chocolate drawer/cupboard/U-haul unit
  11. Clean the house

How does this look so far?

Oh, I nearly forgot. Take a look at this:

IMG_20160206_170329581Most people call it a greenhouse. I did, too. When I asked for one, the hubby got right on it. He didn’t mess around; the supports are secured in cement. This baby is solid. Last year, he added the plastic over the arches and I began using it for what he thought I’d use it for: planting vegetable seeds.

IMG_20160221_161931682 Corrugated siding is now on the ends, he’s added the window and door frame. Says he’s making a door. He’ll get suspicious if I ask for a lock. Damn it. Better not.

Once the door is up, I can use it for my intended use: my Woman Cave.

Baking Shmaking. Hiking Shmiking. I’m no Susie Homemaker.

I need a place to eat chocolate, where I can scream, cry, cuss, throw dirt, seeds, or a fit. Maybe I want to wear sweat pants while singing the theme from Gilligan’s Island at the top of my lungs. Maybe I’ll blow bubbles, or light incense. Maybe I’ll dance to the Monkeys, or make glue fingernails.

Maybe I’ll do absolutely nothing.

I need a place for R&R, where I can be me.

IMG_20160206_170329581Do you see it? Large planting pot= wine storage. Plug trays = Rolo storage.

When the hubby says, “Happy planting” as I head to my “greenhouse,” I smile.

Two. More. Days.

“Every little thing…is gonna be alright…”


* She who dies with the biggest pile wins.

15 thoughts on “The Retirement Me

  • Loved getting to glimpse in to your here and now… and pending changes. Wishing you health. Happiness. Extra sleep. Everything you’d like the next phase of life to be!

    Liked by 1 person

    • That was great Karen!! Made my day!! πŸ˜ƒ Loved the things you crossed out…spotless homemaker, to yodel (this one really cracked me up!! πŸ˜„) and clean the house. Who cares!! Also loved the woman cave to throw dirt, seeds, or sing the theme song to Gilligans island while wearing sweat pants!! Im getting a very good picture now!! πŸ™‚ The glue fingernails really got me!! πŸ˜ƒLOL. Sounds like a heck of a good time to me!! I’ll be over everyday if I can!! Lol.
      Good luck on your last day in the working world…..say hello to retirement. …wear whatever you want, sing in your car to John Denver at the top of your lungs, no makeup, eating rollos and drinking wine in your woman cave!! πŸ™‚ Hey can you ask Bruce to make me one too? Im sure he has lots of spare time and wont care!! πŸ™‚ giggle giggle.
      Im so excited for you…every little thing will be alright. Enjoy your freedom, your lifeπŸ’œ It’s your time nowπŸ’œπŸ‘πŸ’…πŸ‘―πŸ˜ΈπŸ˜ƒπŸ˜š

      Liked by 1 person

        • Yes I doo!! The glue on nails were cheap and sooo beautuful!! πŸ™‚ lol
          Coffee, wine, laugh. Coffee, wine, laugh. Put la cookaracha to this….. sounds like a song to me!! πŸ™‚ lol Happy retirement my friendπŸ’œπŸ’œπŸ’œ

          Liked by 1 person

  • Just kidding! Man, girl. You made me burst out laughing TWICE today. Humor rules!
    I’m loving your Retirement list! I need some fabric. My Martha is tucked away somewhere, too. Pretty jealous of your “greenhouse”. While plants would be nice, Rolos sound wayyyy better! Yum!

    I’d bet you’ll glide right into retirement and adore it soooo much that you’ll never even think twice about it. And, even if you end up missing work, there’s options. Volunteering, part time work, etc.

    PS if you start quilting, teach me! Oh! And I saw a story on Facebook you would LOVE. I may be able to email it to you if you don’t mind giving your email…

    Liked by 1 person

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