The Facebitch*

Have you ever had one of those days? It’s a day like many others when you open your social media page and, when seeing a meme you like or a favorite topic, like everyone else on the planet, you decide to chime in. You jump in happily and post a comment. Soon, the backlash starts, you see a string of negative comments. You realize it’s you, that it was your comment, that it went completely sideways. The responses don’t align with the topic you intended to discuss, or the idea you intended to convey. Was it my grammar?

Or, how about this: you’ve been delivered a blow. A major life event has occurred, maybe an illness or death, maybe someone left you, maybe you’ve been fired. In your devastated state you cannot bear to see the people associated with the incident. You can’t bear to see their friends. You can’t bear it because your pain is raw. They got a raise, they are in love, they’ve booked a trip to France…but you are bleeding. So in that moment you decide to delete rather than unfollow, or hide, or whatever the current term is to not see certain people. It’s the only way you can survive.

People soon realize you are gone. Soon because, as we all know, there are those* who closely follow the numbers. Oh, yes. Their fragile ego self-worth is tied to those numbers. If they went to bed last night with a comfortable 487 friends but woke up with 486, you can damn betcha they are going to find out who in hell had the nerve if it’s the last thing they do that day. Matter of fact, it will probably be the first thing they do, like call in sick so they can hunt you down.

You’ve DUMPED them, and the only possible explanation is that you are a bitch. Adjust your crown, honey, and get used to it. You are now The F-A-C-E-B-I-T-C-H.

*To be fair, there are those who got stung, those who genuinely cared and were hurt that I deleted them from my list (at a particular low point, I deleted 50 people). It’s happened to me. I’ve added people who accepted my request but later deleted me, and some who never accepted. These are not people I only know by name; I refer to people I grew up with, people I’ve known for years. One woman–someone I grew up with–said to me in a restaurant a few years back, “Find me on Facebook!” I did, she accepted, and then she dumped me. Again.

I’ve learned that people behave because of what is going on with them, not you; their behavior is not about me.

Which brings me to the crux of this post: I was hurting. In the process, I behaved in a way that hurt others. It’s a really good idea to stay away from assumptions. We all know it, but is this how we think? Is this our first thought? Do we give others the benefit of the doubt, or do we assume the worst? It’s time to not take this personally. Really. It ain’t about you (or me). I let people go because I was in a world of hurt. I have to offer others the same benefit.

One last thought about social media, grammar, and assumptions. May we all take a lesson.



Probably need a consent form.


Now that I’d like to see.

In hopes we all live with a more forgiving heart, have a wonderful weekend!


*I hereby officially coin the term Facebitch. It’s mine. 😉

  30 comments for “The Facebitch*

  1. February 5, 2017 at 6:13 pm

    Similar to your daughter, I’ve deactivated my personal account a few times. One thing I do love about FB is the ability to delete comments we make. For instance, my cousin had a post I commented on once, and people ate me up with rude comments back. What did I do? Deleted my comment. Closed the book, so to speak. Right now FB and I are getting along quite nicely. I did what you did. Unfriended a bunch of people and brought my friend list down to like 70 or something. Then over time build it up with true friends. Social media is so real and raw. Misunderstandings are just a part of it, it seems.

    PS I currently have several people blocked because they weren’t very nice. 😊☀️🌸

    Liked by 1 person

    • February 6, 2017 at 3:16 pm

      Something I didn’t get into in my post was the data breach we experienced at my then office at work, around the very same time. I was scared out of my britches and, between that and the other issue, I ran for the delete button. My behavior was hurtful to some folks, and this post was an attempt to bring to light that we need to go easy on each other, we must not assume, as we never know someone’s true motive. We DO know, however, that it’s not about us. I also know that the less time I spend there the healthier I feel. ❤

      Liked by 1 person

  2. February 5, 2017 at 6:01 pm

    Wowsa. I felt like I was standing in your kitchen and you were filling me in on what happened.

    Liked by 1 person

    • February 6, 2017 at 3:12 pm

      That time I spoke of was several years ago. Things are better now. ❤

      Liked by 1 person

      • February 6, 2017 at 6:03 pm

        Wow. Really? It sounded recent! 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

        • February 7, 2017 at 9:05 am

          No, the initial data breach and “awful experience” happened a few years ago; my deleting those folks did as well. Over time, I’ve watched how people behave on social media and that is what I find fascinating. People don’t seem overly forgiving; rather, they tend to assume. That is what I focused on in the post. 🙂

          Liked by 1 person

          • February 7, 2017 at 1:11 pm

            Oh, I see. “Never assume” said our 6 th grade teacher Georgia Houghton. 🙂

            Liked by 1 person

  3. February 4, 2017 at 2:37 pm

    It’s far too easy to be misconstrued on FB. I don’t even look at my numbers anymore (not that I have that many). BTW love the term facebitch.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. January 30, 2017 at 12:24 am

    Haha – I’ve never quite got to the point of ‘unfollowing’ someone (although I’ve been tempted) but I have ‘hidden’ a couple! haha – laughing at this one Karen.. An amusing start to my day and yep ‘Facebitch’ – that one’s yours! x

    Liked by 1 person

  5. January 22, 2017 at 11:23 am

    No my dear, never have days like this, I am not on Facebook and loving it ;o) xo Johanna

    Liked by 1 person

    • January 22, 2017 at 11:54 am

      I think that’s fabulous, Johanna, really. I have given this serious thought since the time I mentioned in the post. I’ve become better at walking away from sour situations as I’ve gotten older; why not on social media? I prefer to be blogging anyway…

      My daughter went through a period of time where she deleted her account, re-opened it, deleted it again, then opened it again. She saw people posting things that were not the truth. It infuriated her, and I get that.

      I think we need to go into it with eyes wide open. If we stay, we must be willing to see it all. Thanks for your candor. 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  6. Lynne Geier Olson
    January 22, 2017 at 9:59 am

    Ok, facebitch…. hahah. There are many times where I tune out FB. People are so self centered and then there is all this political crap…this stuff is so media driven, and people are such sheeps. Its not for me. I just tune it out, choose to ignore, and live my life.

    Liked by 1 person

    • January 22, 2017 at 11:38 am

      That has become necessary in some cases, to hide certain sites or overly ANYTHING (meaning, you fill in the blank: political, religious, snarky…) folks. And, yes, we do have the choice to tune it out. I wanted to apologize, though, and I did. 🙂


  7. January 22, 2017 at 8:57 am

    I promise not to steal it. I don’t spend much time on Facebook and have maybe 20 friends on it. They are all family that I don’t really know all that well and after seeing what they post, don’t really want too know them all that well. I keep a separate Facebook page for my other interests. My blogging, writing friends, and my connection to more eclectic interests like quilting sites or spiritually uplifting sites. There are 8 friends there. I’m really not tied into the numbers. You are correct, it’s always about them and their perception. Don’t let them get you down. I love the cartoons about grammar. They do make me laugh. Have a “wonderfilled” day. I’ve coined that term as my own so I get what you mean. Language is difficult to express in the written word, so easy to misunderstand. Sigh.

    Liked by 1 person

    • January 22, 2017 at 11:34 am

      Marlene, you crack me up. I love your third sentence up there. I think the separate FB page is a great idea; some do that for work. I had a FB page a while back (and a site with another host) for this blog but was overwhelmed trying to keep up so many pages.

      In real life, I have a small number of very close friends and prefer it that way. I have never been one to have many that I know less well as opposed to fewer that I know well. I do know many people who are pretty driven by the number of social media friends they have (or not). A friend asked me the other day, “What did we do before these sites?” and it ‘s a great reminder.

      I hurt people but I apologized. I did what I could, and I can live with that.

      Have a great week! ❤

      Liked by 1 person

  8. January 22, 2017 at 7:39 am

    I think it’s very easy to accidentally hurt feelings in real life, and three times as easy on social media. Which is why, as you say, we all need to cut each other some slack!

    Liked by 1 person

    • January 22, 2017 at 11:13 am

      I was hurt and I turned around and hurt others. It all makes me rather not like this thing we now rely on to communicate. But, you are so right, Ann. We need to not worry so much about stuff like this, and never assume. Thanks for the astute comment! ❤

      Liked by 1 person

  9. January 22, 2017 at 5:56 am

    I enjoyed seeing how much a comma can change the meaning of a phrase.

    Liked by 1 person

    • January 22, 2017 at 11:11 am

      Thanks, Sheryl. I had seen the grandma one a while back and remembered it when I wrote this post. Funny, but it’s amazing how a comma or lack thereof can affect meaning. 🙂


  10. January 22, 2017 at 3:33 am

    Ha! My wife was looking over my shoulder as I was reading through blogs this morning and saw your newly minted term. “Facebitch?” She looked at me like at me like I got caught reading porn.

    When I handed her my laptop so she could read, she said, “Yeah I get that.”

    So you’re definitely not alone.

    Liked by 1 person

    • January 22, 2017 at 11:10 am

      This cracks me up! I have to say I hesitated to use my newly coined word, but, I wanted it in the title. (I’m not a fan of bad words–unless I smack my finger or something and then it’s out of my control. 😉 ) But, I am so glad you and your wife chimed in and say I’m not alone. I really appreciate that. It’s so hard to tell what people mean, what they think due to our current method of communication. No tone of voice, no eye contact…much is left up for speculation…and then assumptions. Thanks again. 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  11. Amy
    January 21, 2017 at 7:39 pm

    Social media is both a blessing and a curse, like so much of modern technology. Hope you’re doing okay.

    Liked by 1 person

    • January 22, 2017 at 11:06 am

      Yes, I’m OK (thank you! <3). This happened a few years ago, and I was curious to see how people would respond to this post and if they experienced anything similar. Since then, I've contacted some of the people I deleted with apologies. Some people responded that they were glad to hear from me, some just noticed I was gone but did not know why, and some never responded. What I did not say in the post was that in the same time period that this happened, we experienced a data breach at work and between the two, I pretty much freaked out. I couldn't get to my delete button fast enough. As you can imagine, I regret that now. In the end, I hope we all can enter into social media contacts with open hearts. Things are not always as they appear. 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

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